I let my head roll back as a wave of hesitant passion filled my body, beginning in my heart and settling in my most private of areas. He then kissed a trail down from my neck to my collar bone, and with his right hand he hesitantly cupped my breast, kneading it gingerly. His breathing became noticeably heavier, as did mine, as the anticipation continued to build not only in my body, but Jaren’s too. “Wait Jaren!” I said abruptly, gently pushing him off me. “I’m in love with Tommy and you love Morgan. We can’t do this…” Though I meant my words, my own temptation thought otherwise. He looked guilty. “I know this is so wrong. But just please give me this. If I’m going to lose my virginity, I want it to at least be to the person I love most.” My heart melted at his words. “Jaren, if we do this, we still won’t be together.” I said sternly. I figured shooting him in the head would cause less pain than this. “Then do if for me as a friend. We can keep this between us and we won’t. ”“No, come on, mate. What is it?”“Well, there was this rumour going round at school.”“What about?”“Well, according to Paul Owens and Lee Butler…”“What? Those two pricks?”“Yeah, well, according to them, you…”“What?“Well, they reckoned you fancied me.”“Fuck off!”I went bright red coz I did fancy him and now I’d gone bright red I just wanted to get up and leave. I couldn’t just sit there and let Liam see me blushing like this so I got up.“I’m going for a piss.”I went to the toilets. Fuck. There was no way I could walk back into that pub now coz now he knew how I really felt about him. I felt sick. I just wanted to die. Liam, the lad who I’d been in love with since school, Liam who I’d thought about non-stop every day and night, Liam…he knew how I felt about him. Oh fuck. Right, fuck it. There was nothing I could do about it. He knew how I felt and I can’t help the way I feel. I was in love with him and that was that. Really, I should just walk back in the pub, sit down and say to him,.
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